scale scare

ok, so I have had a rough month and staying on program hasn't been easy for me to say the least. I need to get back on it though or soon I will have nothing to wear.

Potential problem is that I am kind of sort of dating this new guy. OK, we have gone on exactly one date so far, but dating can be completely detrimental to weight loss. The good news is I have been completely upfront with him about Weight Watchers and the fact that I am trying to loose weight (side note: when we were having a discussion about how much weight I have lost, he was shocked, and made a comment about how I'm so little, he can't believe it, awesome, can't hear that enough) He would also like to loose some weight and has been trying to eat healthier.

Last night (on our only date) we went to Fridays, and I have to say that thier new smaller portions menu is AWESOME. Of course, the fact that the slogan is "smaller portions so you have more room for dessert" is pretty funny, but whatever. Of course I didn't get dessert.

I've been trying to stick to core, but it's hard when you've used all your points on spaghetti and alchohol on day one. But I'm plugging along, still far from perfect, but better than last week (i think). The scale could really say anything this week

rough weekend

I am terrified to get on the scale this week. I wasn't there this week because I had to drive to Delaware rather suddenly. My grandfather had a stroke last weekend and we were told he wasn't doing well, so my parents, aunt & uncle and all of my cousins on that side of the family drove down to say goodbye and see him one last time. He died Sunday morning while we were all still there.
Now as most of you know, I do not do very well on plan when my life is thrown into chaos. You should have seen me at the end of the week last week - esp. when I realized that I would not be weighing in on Saturday. It was a food free for all. I decided to get back on it saturday - and I did pretty well, at least until I was sitting around in the hospital all day with my family, surrounded by cookies and other yummy goodness. I am a total emotional eater. And a total bored eater, and there was abundance of both this weekend. I swear I gained about 10 lbs. As of today, I am about 20 points over my extra points. I sat down and figured it out this morning and it is not pretty. I didn't even really have a chance to exercise there. I suppose it could have been a whole lot worse - lunch in the hospital cafeteria was a salad with fat free italian dressing, and I made other similar good decisions when confronted with them. And now I have to go back for the memorial service, but at least that's in two weeks, so even know I know I will gain this week, I am going to do the best that I can for what's left of the week, including going to all my classes, and maybe I'll even weigh in on friday (in 2 weeks), even though I hate doing that, before I leave in order to give myself some amount of accountability.

ouch

I am so so sore today.
For the first time, I actually had the thought in the middle of a class that I am pushing myself too hard when it comes to this working out thing. Saturday I took back to back classes - pilates followed by turbo kick. I wasn't sure if I could handle it and warned the instructor (who led both classes and who I know, I'm a regular in her classes) about that in the beginning. I used lesser weights than I usually use and I was actually ok in the end, and proud of myself for being ok. Well I have been meaning to take the Saturday afternoon yoga class, even though its an hour and a half class for a while. I like yoga, when I do it at home at least and wanted to experience it in a class setting. It was actually a really amazing class. But wow was it intense and hard. I went in sore from the day before, which I really should have taken as a sign, but I had been wanting to take this class for so long, and I really didn't know it would be as difficult as it was. The cool thing was that the instructor was really cool about letting you take as many breaks as you needed, and actually encouraged breaks. I should have taken more! At certain points, I was on one leg (one leg down dog or standing split) and the leg I was standing on would actually be shaking. So I have decided that, while I like this class a lot, I'm going to wait a while before I add it to my aerobic schedule. At least until I'm not sore the next day every week from my new Saturday pilates/turbo kick addition. Plus next week I am adding on a latin dancing class, so I am going to give myself off on Sunday and Monday, until I get in better shape and can handle another addition.

So, while working out is awesome and good for you, there is a thing as too much! And boy am I paying for it today - despite the hot bath last night and sleeping under my electric blanket all night (like one giant heating pad!) I am struggling to walk normally today and not to wince every time I have to pick anything up.

surprising thought

I know not many of you take the bus, but I do every day. And this morning, I saw an open seat between two people. It wasn't a very big spot but I thought to myself "I'm little, I can fit in there" And sure enough, I did, comfortably. I mean, there wasn't relaly room to spare, but I was squeezed in there either. I'm little. I mean, I'm not, but I'm not the HUGE person I usually think of myself as. The times they are a changin'

here I go, rambling on again :)

ok, I don't want to jinx it, but I am doing really well so far this week. It's my second week in a row on core, and I still have 11 of my weekly points left! For me, that's huge. Usually by now I've used up all my extra points and I have to rely on my activity points (of which I earn 2-3 per day for the rest of the week from aerobics) I'm going to step on the scale at the gym today and see how I'm faring, keep your finders crossed for me! I have 3.2 to go to reach that 100 lb goal, but I've been closer before.

Oh core how I love thee, let me count the ways.
I'm still writing everything down (I think that's where I screwed up last time I tried core) and eating lots and lots of fruit. It's totally helping that all the excess food is gone from the office, even the "I'm dieting so I'll bring in everything bad from my house so everyone else can eat it" food. Plus I'm fairly busy at work - at least in the morning, and then I do get sort of bored in the afternoon, so I eat, but I still have a pile of fruit on my desk, and I LOVE fruit (esp oranges!) so it's a-ok. One think I'm not getting in is my dairy. Since skim milk is core, I think I need to either bring in some milk to work or start having a glass with breakfast every morning. Or both. Of course Robyn and I are upping our Island Bean latte intake, so that's helping with the dairy serving a little.

I think I was just oh so tired of counting points and tired of going over them, every day, every week. I feel like I can relax a little on core. It seems like before, I was able to be a little lax on points and the program and I'd still loose weight. Now is a different story. It seems if I'm not perfect, I will gain. Core is my savior.

RAR!

Well Muhamad, wonderful sweet guy though he may be, reached 77lbs today. This is awesome and go Muhamad! However, he joined Weight Watchers in like August*. I have been with Weight Watchers for over 2 years and he is swiftly catching up to me. Not fair! So I am INSPIRED. MOTIVATED even. This is it, Muhamed cannot reach 100 lbs gone before me. It simply wouldn't be fair. So I put him as the background on my phone to push me to loose that 5 lbs before him. Muhamed, prepare to be annihilated!!!!

*this date may or may not be (but probably is) greatly exagerated

pukey thoughts

What kind of person am I that when I get sick, head in the toilet bowl sick, that the only thought running through my head (other than "oh dear god I am going to die") is "I guess I didn't go over my points today after all"

And missing work didn't really phase me as much as missing aerobics did.

I am clearly a sick, sick individual. In more ways than one.