time goals and family strife's

I really should have learned by now to stop setting date goals for myself. You know - I want to loose X amount by X date. I never ever manage to do it and then I always end up being really disappointed in myself. Yet I keep doing it. Goals are good, and date goals may work for some people, but not for me.

Another thing I do but I shouldn't, is care what my parents think. Don't get me wrong, I love my parents very much, and they are very supportive and well meaning. In fact, I have my step mother to thank for my joining weight watchers to begin with. The problem is, they want me to loose weight for what I think are all the wrong reasons. They care way too much about appearances.

See, I am not one of those people that has been overweight my whole life. There was a time when I was very thin. I also don't have genes working against me. I don't think there is one overweight person in my blood line. So when I get a compliment when I'm home for xmas from one of my relatives (like someone who married in) about how great I look, and I make the mistake of telling my dad or step mom, and they say "well they didn't know you when you were thin"...well that kinda makes me feel like sh*t. They don't mean for it to be insulting, but really it is. And this is just the tip of the iceberg of what I have to deal with around the holidays (or any time I go back home) And so I feel this great amount of pressure to loose a ton of weight before I see them again. I really need to stop worrying about what they think so much. I just feel like they are so disappointed in me for how slowly I have lost. Which is probably really silly. I know that they love me and just want me to be happy, but why do they have to make these little insulting but well meaning comments, and why do I have to revert to who I was before and not just say "I know you mean well, but I feel that was a very insulting thing to say" instead just letting it piss me off internally and getting all depressed and then eating all the chocolate in the room. Vicious cycles, they're everywhere. And they all lead to disaster on the scale.